Yeah thats right I managed to get an ‘A-Team’ quote into my blog. And if you don’t know who the A-Team are then shame on you, go find out. Hannibal (The cool, wise leader of the motley crew) would usually say his line after the team had pulled off an amazing escape or rescue planned by the main man.

And with this wonderful image in mind I want to draw your attention to what is possibly my favourite verse in the Bible. Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

So many of us find such comfort in the Scripture found in Jeremiah 29:11. But we are in danger if pulling this verse out of context and making it mean whatever we like. I know of some church circles that use this verse as grounds to preach a prosperity gospel. The best way we can really grasp the truth of the verse is to put it into context.

The background is that Gods people were taken captive, they were in a foreign land, feeling far away from God, feeling forgotten and were losing sight of what the Lord had promised. Then word came via Jeremiah…

Verses 5-7: “Build Houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there, do not decrease. Also seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it because if it prospers, you too will prosper”.

After a brief introduction of the Israelites’ less than ideal situation, God is telling them that they must “keep on keeping on,” they must “stay the course.” They are not to sit around, do nothing, and wait to be delivered. God wants them to have an abundant life in their current situation as they await the future plans he has for them. God wants you to live an abundant life now, even if your circumstances are less than ideal now. You must not sit around and do nothing. You must act.

Verses 8-10: “Yes this is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says: “Do not let the prophets and diviners among you deceive you. Do not listen to the dreams you encourage them to have. They are prophesying lies to you in my name. I have not sent them,” declares the Lord. This is what the Lord says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to your and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place.”

False prophets were telling the people what they wanted to hear and the people were trusting in them. As a people, the Jews would not return to the promised land until God was ready to return them. This is a classic lesson in God’s timing. God’s timing is not our own.

verse 11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

And here is “the verse of hope.” After God spent a few verses setting up the background of what the Jews were to do now and how long they would have to do it, He tells them that He has great plans for them.

verses 12-14(partial): “Then you will call upon me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.”

In these 3 verses is the key to understanding Jeremiah 29. This is the condition to receiving the plans that God has for us in verse 11.

We all experience obstacles and go through life’s trials. When we find ourselves in these situations we must not give up. We must do our part and continue living and being fruitful. God does have a plan for us but His plan might not be on our timing. We must seek Him with all of our hearts. Then and only then will we be able to experience the plans He has for us. Walking the path he would have us tread. God does want us to live an abundant life here on earth but the true plans He has for us will be realized when we meet Him.

Between the morning hours of 6 and 8, you will find the roads, pavements and public transport populated by the masses ready to put in a hard shift at the office. But if you take a minute to look around you’ll notice they are not the only group out and about. I refer to old people!

Despite not having a job to get to, despite having the whole day to run their errands they feel they day must be completed by 8am. Though to be fair, with diagnosis murder and murder she wrote in the afternoon I can see how that thinking works.

I think our society feels there comes a point in life when we become useless. No longer fit for use. At such a point, they are viewed as an irritation, no longer fulfilling a purpose, nothing but a burden we have to put up with.

I’d like to say the church is safe from that. But I only have to review my own thinking to no that not to be true. I have this idea that the older generation in the church are like my favourite muppet characters stadtler and waldorf. Week after week they sit in the balcony, complaining of how rubbish each act is whilst everybody goes on ignoring them.

The idea that a church can only move forward and grow with a young, energetic man at the helm. Being trendy, relevant and ‘down with the kids’ (best gangster pose to match)

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us. (Titus 2:3-8)

How sad it is that the mature, experienced believers are sidelined by the majority. Myself included.

I had the privilege of attending a bible study made up of mostly older Christians. I wasn’t sure what to expect, possibly that they would keep forgetting and repeating the same question and answer over and over.

What I found was deep understanding of biblical doctrine, a wealth of experience and lives that have felt the hand of God on them more times then they could remember!

To my shame, I have thought like many. That there is nothing to be learned from dear old Blanch who takes 30 minutes to get up from her seat. Sadly nothing could be further from the truth.

The scripture in Titus is a blueprint for a healthy church. In fact the New King James entitles this portion of scripture as ‘qualities of a sound church’. From this passage we see that the older generation has just as much to teach the younger generation as the other way round.

Young people will have the energy and enthusiasm, the drive and determination to soak up everything taught to them. But for a church to be healthy and succeed in the Lords work, we must have mature Christians who, though less able bodied, can impart the benefit of a life lived hand in hand with God almighty.

I have heard it said that you don’t learn the art of praying until your life slows down. I guess this means when you no longer have lots of places to go and lots of things to do. How amazing would it be to change that so we became prayer warriors from an early age??!!!

Dear believer, instead of sitting in your normal seat on a Sunday, why not seek out the older crowd. Demand they tell you about what they have learned about God! Visit them in their homes, invite them round for tea.

Young believers, need good, strong mentors with years of Christian experience. The Church needs mature Christians just as much as young fresh faced believers.

I wonder if you’ve been faced with the temptation of having a relationship with a non-Christian? It’s easily done. They are probably a lovely person, it could be that you feel they are morally more upstanding than other Christians you know. They are attractive and fun and you get along very well… what’s the problem?

It’s normally the older (and may I add wiser) Christian who will throw a painful wince as you suggest such a thing. You’re not going to pay too much attention though, they are just being old fashioned. They don’t understand, you’ve found someone you connect with and that can only be a good thing…

Normally about the time of the painful wince your older Christian friend will point out the old classic “Do not be unequally yoked to an unbeliever”….. So there you go, end of argument, no non-Christian partner. This argument comes from 2 Corinthians 6:14, and we must be careful not to take it out of context. We will get to that later.

Firstly, our own attitude is very telling on the matter. You start out with the best of intentions, you’re not turning your back on your Christian life. God is still in focus. Normally you will have reasoned with yourself along the following lines:
1) I’ll be a witness to them, get them to come to church, they might become a Christian.
2) It’s just harmless fun, nothing serious.
3) I know Christians who have had relationships with non-Christians, and they were fine.

I could spend a whole post arguing against this reasoning, but I want to focus on the root of what scripture says. I mean lets be honest, that kind of thinking isn’t about defending yourself to that dear older Christian. It’s about convincing yourself it’s fine – and it’s at that point the alarm bells should be ringing! So lets see if the passage in 2 Corinthians holds any weight with regards to a relationship with a non-Christian.

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.”
“Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.”

To get this in context, we need to understand the background that Paul is writing against.

Although, the Corinthian church had turned to God, the Pagan culture that surrounded them was having an influence on the believers there. Unholy unions with idols, idol feasts, temple prostitutes and sacrifices were being practiced by the believers in Corinth, they were being sucked back into their old way of living.

And so we find in 2 Corinthians 6:14-17, the Apostle Paul identifying two opposing worlds, two different kingdoms, two ways to live. One is a life of righteousness, light, Christ, believers and the presence of God. The other is described as lawless, dark, satanic, occupied by unbelievers and the presence of idols. Two societies, utterly different, utterly distinct, completely incompatible and at polar opposites.

The ‘Yoke’ analogy, is from a concept back in Deuteronomy Where Israel were to live in a certain way. One way was that they were not to plow with an ox and an ass yoked together. And the reasons for that are obvious. Those two animals have two different natures. They don’t have the same strength. They don’t have the same kind of instincts. You can’t yoke them up and expect a straight furrow.

Paul is borrowing off of that analogy and highlights how there is no possibility for people in these two kingdoms to be bound together in common work, no partnership, no fellowship, no harmony and no agreement does or can really exist.

This then is the situation Paul is highlighting in the church at Corinth. They can only live one way, they can’t have one foot in and one foot out. It’s all or nothing! And since they have chosen to follow God, they must recognize that a change of lifestyle is needed.

The Principal from this passage is that we should choose our partnerships carefully. The simple truth is followers of Christ have a totally different outlook to unbelievers. Our lives are about glorifying God, not about gratifying self. Our lives are focused on making God the centre, not living for those drink fuelled weekends.

It is impossible for believers to be in close union with unbelievers, the lifestyles, outlooks and attitudes conflict.

Does this passage specifically refer to not having a non-Christian partner? Well, no.

Should this passage be regarded as a warning not to be in close union with an unbeliever, absolutely. Not just on a romantic level though. Consider, close friendships, business partners etc… This is not to say we hide away from unbelievers, definitely not, scripture is clear on our being in the world and a good witness. But we should not seek out anything or anyone that would compromise our relationship with Father God. (scripture deals separately with varying circumstances i.e. Married when one of the couple becomes a believer).

As Christians, we can imagine the great places in the Bible, the places that Jesus went to. we can even visit them today, and I’m sure sailing on the Sea of Galilee, walking the streets of Jerusalem, and viewing the empty tomb stirs something deep within us as we see first hand many of the places that we are told about, and we would perhaps consider Israel, our very own, ‘holy land’.

But something has been bothering me. You see for all the great experiences you would have, imagining scripture unfolding history before you, I keep wondering if there is somewhere else. Somewhere that is maybe even more holy… Could it be that, perhaps, here in the UK, God is slowly creating a slice of ‘heaven on earth’?

The answer quite obviously is Yes! (After all, if the answer was no, there would be no point to this post, and I would have thus, wasted a significant amount of time, thinking and writing about the fact there is no holier place on earth – but I digress). Ladies and Gentleman, let me bring to your attention… WALES!

That’s right you heard me, Wales. The country that brought us leeks and sheep, I believe is the place to be when it comes to being holy. Quite frankly, if you have not visited Wales, your score is pretty low on the ‘scale of holiness’ (yes, there is a scale, you’re church may not advertise it, but the church leaders have one… and they’re watching you!)

Perhaps you’re thinking how is it possible that a nation that gave us Tom Jones (devil hips – no lusting please ladies!!!) could be a sanctuary of godliness and piety. Examine if you will the evidence:

The last great revival
Of course we know that the Lord is always at work, but do you know the last time, we as human beings responded in such a way that would grip the nation? 1904, Where? That’s right IN WALES! In the face of such thinking as Karl Marx and Charles Darwin, 1904 saw the start of people turning to God. Why would Wales see a revival? Because it is such a holy place!!! The revival even got it’s very own musical in 2005 (extra points for the ‘scale of holiness’ if you went to see it).

Everybody can sing
There are two things the welsh are good at, rugby and singing. Now the rugby isn’t particularly holy but is there anything more beautiful then hearing a welsh person sing. Is it the diet? Does everybody have singing lessons from before they could walk? There is something supernatural about a country where everybody can sing… and not just pub karaoke sing, but really sing. Angelic voices, to the point where you have to grow suspicious and ask, are they being blessed because Wales is so holy?

Christian camps
What could be more fun as teenager than spending a week in a tent with your mates, having the time of your life. Mix in some Bible teaching and terrorising the leaders and you have a Christian youth camp. And Wales have them in abundance. It’s the place to be! All summer long, youth camps are being held in the land of Wales, entire villages and towns are being emptied of their young people. Hundreds, thousands flock from England to tread the sacred hills and breathe righteous air, the young people know it!

Bible Conferences aplenty
Is there a better holiday then having a week to chill out and be taught more about God? Of course not… and guess what? The biggest, the best, the crème de la crème of bible conferences are held in Wales. From Aber to New word alive. If you want your event to be truly awesome, to squeeze every last drop of righteousness from Holiness central you must be located in Wales… FACT! Maybe it’s the walks you will go on, maybe it’s the beautiful scenery you will take in but suddenly you will be pondering life and your role in it. A Bible conference in Wales will pick you up, look you deep in the eyes, give you a big hug and then send you off back home. Sure you had great teaching, sure you had time alone with the Lord, but my friends it is because Wales is so holy that you get that Christian buzz (you know what I’m talking about).

I think I’ve proven without doubt, the new Holy land is on our doorstep. Wales, we salute you – you are holier and deserve a Christian high five or side hug – whichever you prefer.

I love Lord of the Rings, I think it’s genius. I think I’d make a good elf, I reckon I could pull it off! (obviously I’d look as good as Orlando Bloom and get to hang around the magical forests with Liv Tyler). It’s the 8th best selling book in the world, which is pretty impressive, I have no doubt that’ll change once the last Harry Potter book comes out (but we all know it’s the poor mans LOTR).

Of course the biggest selling book of all time is the Bible (the name coming from a greek word meaning ‘books’). It is the manual for life, it is what Bible believing Christians turn to always. A relationship with God, is grown, in part, through his word the Bible. It is clear that it is of great importance and popularity, and yet it is ridiculed and thrown aside. Many say not relevant, others say fairy stories and some say religious conspiracy.

Perhaps the reason for such a following and yet such skeptism is the evidence laid out before us or the ignorance regarding it.

There are two key areas which are significant in backing up the authenticity of the Bible..

Archaeological/Historical evidence
The most documented Biblical event is the world-wide flood described in Genesis 6-9. A number of Babylonian documents have been discovered which describe the same flood.

The Sumerian King List, for example, lists kings who reigned for long periods of time. Then a great flood came. Following the flood, Sumerian kings ruled for much shorter periods of time. This is the same pattern found in the Bible. Men had long life spans before the flood and shorter life spans after the flood.

The 11th tablet of the Gilgamesh Epic speaks of an ark, animals taken on the ark, birds sent out during the course of the flood, the ark landing on a mountain, and a sacrifice offered after the ark landed.

The Story of Adapa tells of a test for immortality involving food, similar to the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.

Sumerian tablets record the confusion of language as we have in the Biblical account of the Tower of Babel (Genesis 11:1-9). There was a golden age when all mankind spoke the same language. Speech was then confused by the god Enki, lord of wisdom. The Babylonians had a similar account in which the gods destroyed a temple tower and “scattered them abroad and made strange their speech.”

How about historical evidence from other manuscripts:
Suetonius, in his The Twelve Caesars says:
Because the Jews at Rome caused continuous disturbances at the instigation of Crestus [a Latin reference to Christ], he [Claudius] expelled them from the city.[11]

Compare this reference to Acts 18:2 which clearly refers to the same event.
“And he [Paul] found a certain Jew named Aquila, born in Pontus, who had recently come from Italy with his wife Priscilla (because Claudius had commanded all the Jews to depart from Rome); and he came to them”.

Another clear reference outside the Bible is found by the Roman historian Tacitus in his work The Annals of Imperial Rome.

To suppress this rumour [that the massive fires of Rome had been deliberately set by men], Nero fabricated scapegoats – and punished with every refinement the notoriously depraved Christians (as they were popularly called). Their originator, Christ, had been executed in Tiberius’ reign by the governor of Judea, Pontius Pilatus.

The Jewish historian Josephus (ca. 90-95 AD) mentions the martyrdom of the apostle James, refers to James as Jesus’ brother, mentions the martyrdom of John the Baptist, and mentions Jesus a second time. Other references include the Roman historian Thallus (ca. 52 AD) as quoted by Julius Africanus concerning the darkness at the crucifixion, the Roman author and administrator Pliny the Younger’s (ca. 112 AD) mention of the early Christians’ worship of Christ, and historical references from the Roman Emperors Trajan and Hadrian.

There are of course more, but it would turn into an essay rather than a blog post!

Scientific evidence
The Bible isn’t a scientific book as such, but when it does describe the order of things it’s 100% accurate. Well of course it is, God made everything and the Bible is from God, he should know how it all works! Consider:

The Shape of the Earth
“He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth, and its people are like grasshoppers. He stretches out the heavens like a canopy, and spreads them out like a tent to live in” Isaiah 40:22

This may or may not be construed to support the spherical shape of the earth. The horizon is a circle and a circle is flat.

The Earth is suspended in nothing
“He spreads out the northern[skies] over empty space; he suspends the earth over nothing,” Job. 26:7

This is particularly interesting, considering that the belief of other cultures at that time did not have the earth suspended in nothing, but rather upon pillars, or people, or animals.

The Stars are Innumerable
“He took him outside and said, ‘Look up at the heavens and count the stars – if indeed you can count them.’ Then he said to him, ‘So shall your offspring be” Gen. 15:5.

The Existence of Valleys in the Seas
“The valleys of the sea were exposed and the foundations of the earth laid bare at the rebuke of the LORD, at the blast of breath from his nostrils” 2 Sam. 22:16

The Existence of Water Paths (Ocean Currents) in the Seas
“O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!…When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,…You made him [man] ruler over the works of your hands; you put everything under his feet…the birds of the air, and the fish of the sea, all that swim the paths of the seas” Psalm 8:1,3,6,8

The Hydrologic Cycle
“He wraps up the waters in his clouds, yet the clouds do not burst under their weight” Job. 26:8

“He draws up the drops of water, which distill as rain to the streams; the clouds pour down their moisture and abundant showers fall on mankind” Job. 36:27-28

“The wind blows to the south and turns to the north; round and round it goes, ever returning on its course. All streams flow into the sea, yet the sea is never full. To the place the streams come from, there they return again” Ecclesiastes 1:6-7

I could go on for a very long time, but the nature of a blog post dictates constraint. I hope, however, that this has given those of you who doubt, something to think about. And those of you who believe some encouragement that Gods word is constantly being proved as being nothing but authentic and accurate.

So we have seen that not all paths lead to God. But how can I as a bible believing Christian know that Christianity and Jesus Christ is the correct path. Perhaps you don’t believe it, perhaps the world has influenced your thinking on the matter.

So let me highlight a few key things:

1. He is the only, unique Son of God (Psalm 2:7, 11-12; John 1:14; Luke 1:35).

2. He is eternal. He existed from eternity past, He exists in the present, and He will exist for all eternity in the future (John 1:1-3, 14; John 8:58).

3. Jesus alone is the One who bore our sins so that we could have forgiveness and be saved from them (Isaiah 53; Matthew 1:21; John 1:29; 1 Peter 2:24; 1 Corinthians 15:1-3).

4. Jesus is the only Way to the Father (John 14:6; Acts 4:12; 1 Timothy 2:5); there is no other way to salvation. He is the only righteous One who exchanged that perfect righteousness for our sin (2 Corinthians 5:21).

5. Jesus alone had power over His own death and the ability take back His life again (John 2:19; 10:17-18). Note: His resurrection was not a “spiritual” one, but was physical (Luke 24:39). His resurrection from the dead, never to die again, distinguished Him as the unique Son of God (Romans 1:4).

6. Jesus alone accepted worship as an equal with the Father (John 20:28-29; Philippians 2:6), and indeed God the Father states that the Son is to be honored as He is honored (John 5:23). All others, whether Jesus’ disciples or angelic beings, rightly reject that worship (Acts 10:25-26; Acts 14:14-15; Matthew 4:10; Revelation 19:10; 22:9).

7. Jesus has the power to give life to whom He will (John 5:21).

8. The Father has committed all judgment to Jesus (John 5:22).

9. Jesus was with the Father and directly involved in the creation, and it is by His hand that all things are held together (John 1:1-3; Ephesians 3:9; Hebrews 1:8-10; Colossians 1:17).

10. It is Jesus who will rule the world at the end of this present age (Hebrews 1:8; Isaiah 9:6-7; Daniel 2:35, 44; Revelation 19:11-16).

11. Jesus alone was born of a virgin, conceived by the Holy Spirit (Isaiah 7:14; Matthew 1:20-23; Luke 1:30-35).

12. It is Jesus who demonstrated that He had the attributes of God [e.g., the power to forgive sins and heal the sick (Matthew 9:1-7); to calm the wind and waves (Mark 4:37-41; Psalm 89:8-9); to know us, being perfectly acquainted with us (Psalm 139; John 1:46-50; 2:23-25), to raise the dead (John 11; Luke 7:12-15; 8:41-55), etc.]

13. There are a great number of prophecies concerning the Messiah’s birth, life, resurrection, person, and purpose. All were fulfilled by Him and no other (Isaiah 7:14; Micah 5:2; Psalm 22; Zechariah 11:12-13; 13:7; Isaiah 9:6-7; Isaiah 53; Psalm 16:10).

No other religion, no other faith, no other religious leader made the claims that Jesus did. He is unique, He is God.

The roles of men and women fit together in God’s plan and complement one another perfectly. We were created equal, yet different. God has distinctly made us the way we are for his purposes. You don’t need to be a genius to work it out. You don’t need to be a Bible scholar to understand that. You just need to have kids! Or at the very least have spent time with kids.

I have a young niece and nephew. Whenever I see them I get a different reaction. My niece is a dainty little thing, shy and unassuming, a real girly girl. My nephew on the other just wants to wrestle. He enjoys getting his butt kicked (actually more like kicking my butt!), he wants to tumble around!

We couldn’t be more different, and just as God has a will and purpose for Christian women, so he has a will and purpose for us Christian men. To be real men of God!

In the introduction to this series I talked about the worlds view of what it is to be a man. I want to now touch on the opposite end of the spectrum, what God sees as masculine. After all, God created us and has a role for us – if anyone should know the right kind of masculinity its Him!….

Endurance
A man gains respect by his ability to endure, to take knocks without crumbling or giving up. This requires control of the emotions, especially the tendency to self-pity.[2 Cor 6:4,5] He recognizes the struggle, and prepares himself for it accordingly.

Nothing to hide
Godly men are determined to walk in the light.[1 John 1:7] They are accountable. They open their lives to the caring scrutiny of other men. Secretive men will almost certainly become compromised and undermine their own masculinity. A godly mans yes will be yes and his no will be no. Not ‘reading between the lines’, no game playing. Straight down the line truth.

Courage
A true man is not easily intimidated. This does not mean he has no fears, but that he can control and overcome them. In relationships, in conflicts, when there is a need to speak out, masculinity is brave.[Gal 2:11,12] Risk is the hall-mark of the brave heart.[Phil 2:29,30] When a man takes no risks out of fear or pride, faith cannot grow. Courage makes a man optimistic for the future. He is always looking forward with vision, his head held high.[Phil 3:13-16]

Its what you know, not what you feel.
Men should be clear-thinking, not governed by unstable feelings. This quality is vital in church leadership. Mood-swings and changeable emotions bring serious instability if they control a man. Shallow excitement can be as unhelpful as negativity; neither express real faith. True faith is the conviction of things not seen, which a man thinks through, embraces and acts upon.[Heb 11:1,2]

Its ok to cry!
Even so, men need not be afraid of expressing deep feeling. Jesus and other New Testament men were able to express emotion freely.[John 11:35][2 Tim 1:4] There is a time to weep and a time to laugh.[Eccles 3:4]

Keeping the right company
Real men will enjoy the company of challenging men. They won’t mind being rebuked if they need it.[Prov 27:5,6] They can exchange ideas, discuss deep theology. They will learn from others, old and young! They will seek to know more and to learn more from other men.

Take control
A manly man has initiative and takes a lead. Not all men will be ministers. Yet all can lead in the sense that they personify godly masculinity. Husbands can lead their families; single men can lead in focused devotion to Jesus. Whatever a man’s type of character – extrovert, introvert, self-confident, talkative, easy-going, idealistic — his spirit can be fused with godly masculinity.

So, in a day when many people see the Church as largely for women, let holy men rise up in their spirits and be who God means them to be!

Does everybody seem to be hanging around in two’s? does it seem like the whole world has already paired up and you are the only one left standing? I bet it seems like the whole world is in couples! Welcome to singledom!

So this is your situation. Everyone seems to have a partner but you. You’d like to have one. I mean, you’ve been waiting patiently on God. You’ve been faithful and trust him and his promises. Surely there’s someone out there for you, but they’re not just going to fall from the sky into your lap are they??!!! Be great if they did, but I’m sure there’s some health and safety issues with that concept.

So the question, how do you attract that lovely Christian girl? What you would like from this post is for me to pull out some magic formula from scripture. Just hidden away there, in one of the minor prophets. That nugget of golden information which will turn you into that Godly, Christian stud of a man!!! Alas, no such joy, though if you stumble upon any in the Bible do let me know.

At this point, the mature, wiser Christian will pipe up with something like “well God is all you need.” And possibly insinuate that you are not walking closely with the Lord because you feel the need for companionship. I will point out, that these Christians are normally married with children and cannot remember that feeling, but believe me, once upon a time they did! And of course they are not wrong but neither are they helpful in their take on the situation.

God himself recognised that man would be better with a close companion, someone to share the joys and glory of basking in the presence of God and his creation. Feeling lonely or wanting to find that special someone does not make you any less of a Christian. You are, the way God created you, with the same human needs as everyone else. Don’t beat yourself up or think that its wrong to feel like that, its fine – but lets make sure we support those feelings with Gods word, it makes all the difference.

Some quick points to aid you in attracting the Christian girl: 

Be happy with who you are
A lot of people go around with the notion that you cant be truly happy unless you find a partner. Well that’s not entirely true. To be able to enjoy being with somebody else you have to be comfortable with yourself. You have to recognise that God fearfully and wonderfully made you. He sent his son to die on the cross for you – he obviously thinks your worth it. He has given you gifts and talents. Recognise you have your own special, individual personality created just for you by God. Being comfortable and confident in who God has made and is making is important.

Recognise that singleness is not a disease… in fact it can be great
I could spend all day talking about this, maybe I’ll write post dedicated to the plus’ of being single. For now, I’ll direct your attention to 1 Corinthians 7. I’d recommend reading the whole chapter to fully grasp whats being said, but its basically talking about those who are married and those who aren’t and what one is better. Verse 17 says:

“Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him.”

If you take in the rest of the chapter, what is really being said here is: wherever you are, be there for the glory of God.

Paul is saying, singles – get up and walk. You are not crippled because you are single. You are not lacking if you are single, you are not being overlooked if you are single.

Life doesn’t begin when you find that certain someone. Marriage and singleness are gifts from God. Recognise your state is a gift and enjoy the moment you are in and make the most of it for the glory of God.

Be in love with Jesus
There is nothing more attractive than being passionate about what you believe.

And as a Christian, what do you believe? Do you believe that Christ died for you? Do you believe Gods word is infallible and for every part of your life? As a single person, you have more time to yourself. Forget the Xbox, forget surfing the net hour after hour. Grab your bible, pick it apart, study it diligently. Pray, for anyone and everyone. Grow closer to Father God, fall in love with Christ again!

Serve
Later on in 1 Corinthians it talks about the body of Christ and how it should work (verse 14 onwards). Which is basically saying how we should get involved and serve the local church. You are single, you have no split commitments. Your focus, your energies can be channelled into the church you belong to. You have one over someone who is married. You can throw yourself 100% into church life and church work without having one eye on other responsibilities. So serve! With all your heart. You can do great things if you have a spirit of servitude.

Are you noticing a pattern? None of the advice actually relates directly to you and that special someone. If you are looking for a good Godly woman (which I really hope you are), then the biggest characteristic that they should be looking for is a good Godly man. Which doesn’t mean, wearing the latest trends, having the biggest muscles or being the life and soul of the party. It means they should be looking for someone who puts God first in everything. Who base their life, their decisions, their outlook and attitude, on what pleases Father God.

I realise that there is a lot more to finding a partner, like physical attraction and different personalities, but I believe if you focus on the points covered you will already be attractive, not just to a girl romantically but to the world in your lifestyle and attitude.

Ok, lets get to the point. There are fewer greater feelings in the Christian life then finding ‘the one’ (is there such a thing? That’s a whole other post!). The spark of chemistry, finding new things out about each other, experiencing life or just vegging out together.

You find yourself smiling uncontrollably and look forward to the next time you will be seeing your sweetheart. And when you do your heart does a back-flip of gymnastic proportions.One minute you’re in your own little world, the next your part of a couple and a whole new world opens up.

But alas, the screen does not fade to black and the immortal words ‘and they lived happily ever after, does not float across the screen. Oh no no no. This is the Christian life. Struggle and warfare are all around, and that includes romantic relationships.

Of course having a Christian partner is a wonderful feeling,  but they should come with a disclaimer. Small print, warning of the dangers of allowing your feelings and desires to run away with you. And as the man in the relationship, the pressure to remain Godly, whilst being close to a member of the opposite sex is a very difficult path to tread.

So here is my attempt at passing on some pointers, (hopefully) backed up with sufficient scriptures. This is not an exhaustive list by any means. And this is not a guide from someone who has it all worked out. In fact this comes from the experience of someone, who can tell you how not to have a Godly relationship and has got it wrong on many occasions!

Take the lead
If you are a Christian man reading this, let me impress upon you, that you are the head of your Christian relationship. Yes you are a team, but the responsibility for having a good healthy God centred relationship must start and end with you. Don’t wait for your partner to take the lead, its on you.

Now I want you to realize the head of every man is Christ and the head of every woman is man (1 Cor 11:3)

I appreciate this is more concerning the institute of marriage but I’m sure the principal can be carried over to pre-marriage.

Include parents in relationship
Perhaps this is just common sense to you. I’m afraid this is something I failed to do in my relationships. I personally think its important at the very least to include your girlfriends parents in your relationship. Sit them down, let them be open about what they expect of you. How you want them involved – this after all is their daughter. It would be a great feeling to know you can discuss your relationship privately with your girlfriends father. Of course that’s presuming you are near your girlfriends parent and they are around you enough to have regular interaction.

Set boundaries, no grey areas – just black and white
One of the most harmful things to your relationship isn’t what you say. Its what you don’t say. Boundaries people… we need boundaries! “We’ll deal with it when it comes up” or “we won’t fall into that trap – we are strong Christians”. Oh my dear friends if you’ve ever thought along those lines, then you are setting yourself up for a fall. Men, you know your thoughts. You know your struggles. And none are bigger than the opposite sex. If you are in a relationship with someone, then you are attracted to them. If you are attracted to them, then its quite natural to want to show that in a physical way.

So the question normally asked is, how far is too far? Its fair enough question asked by those wanting to do the right thing in their relationship. but this  thinking presents a problem. Since scripture doesn’t actually answer that question head on, we run away with the idea that certain things are acceptable, only the end result (sex) is off limits. Everything in between is a grey area  and is down to the discernment of the individual. Well lets consider a couple of passages:

1 Corinthians 6:19-20
You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

 

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

We are called to be people of purity, to honour God in the use of our bodies. So, let me ask, at what point do you start having impure thoughts. If your anything like me (I really hope you’re not!) that moment is normally five seconds after being in the presence of your partner! Lets, be honest guys. We struggle with being Godly in these situations, big time. And of course from there stems, temptation to go further. Do you really think you can stop at a certain point? Sooner or later, you will want to go further, and further until you reach the point of no return.

The question isn’t how far can I go outside of sex. The question is how far can I go before my thoughts turn to impure things?

Therefore, boundaries are crucial. Crucial to ensure purity in the relationship. Sit down with your lady and have an honest conversation as to what is acceptable and what isn’t. Would you struggle being alone together? Then don’t be alone. Is cuddling up on the sofa going to be a problem? Then don’t. Is a passionate kiss going to do it? How about touching and stroking? It doesn’t take a genius to work out where you should be watching yourself.

I know it sounds like I just want to be a killjoy, but believe me. One small touch here, a kiss there. It starts small and it takes over in no time at all. Before you know it, your relationship is no longer about glorifying God but about gratifying our own desires and urges.

As CS Lewis once said
“Chastity is the most unpopular of the Christian virtues.”

Have devotional times together
If the above is all ‘you can’t’, the stuff you can, and indeed should, will really deepen your relationship. Studying Gods word together and praying together are a must. Yes it can be awkward at the start, but as the man its on you to put this in place. Grasping something new of God and his word together will be a great thing for a relationship. Coming into the presence of God to pray together will be so rewarding. Talk about God, your own Christian life, your struggles, the way God has blessed you.

Your relationship shouldn’t just be about two individuals, having two different experiences of God. It should be all that as well as a partnership seeking to glorify God together. Praying together means you are able to be spiritually naked together. You can admit your heavy burdens together, lay yourselves out bare before God together.

Encourage her in the Lords work.
Whatever situation you are in, your partner is probably involved in some form of service for the Lord in one way or another. When your relationship gets that bit serious, other things sometimes take a backseat. Obviously priorities will change a bit but don’t be the reason your partner takes her focus off of her service to the Lord.

Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.
1 Corinthians 15:58

How can you encourage her? How can you support her? It may mean sometimes your relationship suffers, but our lives are not about us, and it would be selfish to think somebody else’s was!

Have accountancy partners.
If your serious in your relationship, it would benefit you no end to seek counsel of older Christians. Grab another couple who you know, trust and respect. Demand that they keep an eye on you as a couple. Get them to check up on you both. You will hopefully be able to share with them your relationship problems (after talking it over with your partner first!).

Hebrews 10:24 says,
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.”

1 Thessalonians 5:11 says to,
“…encourage one another and build each other up…”

Few! Thats a bigger post than I thought it would be. Like I say, I don’t have the answers. Just some thoughts from experience!

“We’re all going on a summer holiday, no more worries for a week or two….” Sure you might be grimacing in despair as you wonder how Cliff Richard managed to creep onto this blog – but we all know you were finishing off the rest of that line, at the very least attempting an impression of sir cliff.

You may have issues with Cliff Richards music (I can’t say I’m much of a fan), but you surely have respect for the man who is Mr. Pure? Existing in an industry that has money, women and the whole world thrown at you to fulfil your every desire, this man has led a somewhat shy life, out of the spotlight and free of accusations and gossip.

I struggle to write on this subject. You see, I can’t imagine Sir Cliff ever having the thoughts and struggles that I do. In fact I worry that I am alone in this struggle. The struggle of a pure mind.

This struggle is somewhat more of a challenge for us guys than the ladies, since we are visual creatures, we take things in and our imagination runs riot. Before you know your mind has wandered into the gutter and beyond.

I was turning over this idea in my head when I went to the city centre a day ago… And perhaps it was because I had it in my mind and was more keenly aware. Or perhaps the Lord was just underlining it for me, but wherever I looked the world was screaming out “SEX!” to me (not literally of course – that would be weird). From girls wearing next to nothing, to the rather provocative shops, to the billboards telling me its easy to get that sexy girl.

And the more the world deems it all acceptable the more desensitised we become. Accepting standards which must disgust our Father God. Is there anyway to combat this? Only one book would know:

1 Thessalonians 4:3-8
It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.

It has been Gods intention from the start that with the help of his spirit we become more like him. Living holy and righteous lives. That process is impeded when our defences slip and allow ourselves to dwell on our thoughts, which are anything but helpful.

Men, we have to declare war on this. We must realise the importance of Purity in our lives. We must understand that it grieves our Father God and hurts our relationship with him.

So what can we do?

Get real
“But I’m not like that”. “I help out at church”. “I have two hour prayer times”. Great, but are you a man? Then you’re fallible. You need to understand you are not untouchable. King David fell from grace, so can you.

Memorise scripture
Christ deflected satans temptations with scripture – why can’t we? If we are regularly soaking up Gods word, then our mind and heart will be focusing on God and pleasing him. The importance of daily devotional time with the Lord cannot be overstated – our purity is at stake!

Prayer
Plead with God to give you the desire to focus only on him. To protect you in your weakness. Ask that the Holy spirit with give you a ‘holy dig in the ribs’ that will bring you to your senses again. Get others to pray for you too, if you can be that honest!

Be accountable
Quite possibly the hardest thing a man could do is admit he’s struggling. Being too proud, we’d rather plough further into hopeless despair than show our vulnerability to others. It’s time we were real men and seek help in our war. Grab another Christian guy who you respect and trust. Someone who can keep ask you questions about your personal life. Who could challenge you regarding your actions.

Don’t despair
The fact of the matter is, that the world is selling everything but purity. You can’t hide from the world, you can’t shield your person from the seductions of life. It’s there and you have to deal with it. Temptation is all around, don’t beat yourself up because you find yourself tempted. We are human beings with a sinful nature.

Take action
If you can’t do anything about temptation, the next step certainly is your call. Is that girls low top catching your gaze? Turn away. Is that TV programme rotting your mind? Switch if off. In Mark 9, we are told to pluck out our eye if it causes us to sin. Christ calls us to action! Not by self harming of course – but by cutting the supply line to our mind. Whatever is feeding our less than pure thoughts – do something about it!!!

(I’m sure Sir Cliff does struggle really – doesn’t he??!!!!)