Being a Godly Man: Masculinity

9 Sep

The roles of men and women fit together in God’s plan and complement one another perfectly. We were created equal, yet different. God has distinctly made us the way we are for his purposes. You don’t need to be a genius to work it out. You don’t need to be a Bible scholar to understand that. You just need to have kids! Or at the very least have spent time with kids.

I have a young niece and nephew. Whenever I see them I get a different reaction. My niece is a dainty little thing, shy and unassuming, a real girly girl. My nephew on the other just wants to wrestle. He enjoys getting his butt kicked (actually more like kicking my butt!), he wants to tumble around!

We couldn’t be more different, and just as God has a will and purpose for Christian women, so he has a will and purpose for us Christian men. To be real men of God!

In the introduction to this series I talked about the worlds view of what it is to be a man. I want to now touch on the opposite end of the spectrum, what God sees as masculine. After all, God created us and has a role for us – if anyone should know the right kind of masculinity its Him!….

A man gains respect by his ability to endure, to take knocks without crumbling or giving up. This requires control of the emotions, especially the tendency to self-pity.[2 Cor 6:4,5] He recognizes the struggle, and prepares himself for it accordingly.

Nothing to hide
Godly men are determined to walk in the light.[1 John 1:7] They are accountable. They open their lives to the caring scrutiny of other men. Secretive men will almost certainly become compromised and undermine their own masculinity. A godly mans yes will be yes and his no will be no. Not ‘reading between the lines’, no game playing. Straight down the line truth.

A true man is not easily intimidated. This does not mean he has no fears, but that he can control and overcome them. In relationships, in conflicts, when there is a need to speak out, masculinity is brave.[Gal 2:11,12] Risk is the hall-mark of the brave heart.[Phil 2:29,30] When a man takes no risks out of fear or pride, faith cannot grow. Courage makes a man optimistic for the future. He is always looking forward with vision, his head held high.[Phil 3:13-16]

Its what you know, not what you feel.
Men should be clear-thinking, not governed by unstable feelings. This quality is vital in church leadership. Mood-swings and changeable emotions bring serious instability if they control a man. Shallow excitement can be as unhelpful as negativity; neither express real faith. True faith is the conviction of things not seen, which a man thinks through, embraces and acts upon.[Heb 11:1,2]

Its ok to cry!
Even so, men need not be afraid of expressing deep feeling. Jesus and other New Testament men were able to express emotion freely.[John 11:35][2 Tim 1:4] There is a time to weep and a time to laugh.[Eccles 3:4]

Keeping the right company
Real men will enjoy the company of challenging men. They won’t mind being rebuked if they need it.[Prov 27:5,6] They can exchange ideas, discuss deep theology. They will learn from others, old and young! They will seek to know more and to learn more from other men.

Take control
A manly man has initiative and takes a lead. Not all men will be ministers. Yet all can lead in the sense that they personify godly masculinity. Husbands can lead their families; single men can lead in focused devotion to Jesus. Whatever a man’s type of character – extrovert, introvert, self-confident, talkative, easy-going, idealistic — his spirit can be fused with godly masculinity.

So, in a day when many people see the Church as largely for women, let holy men rise up in their spirits and be who God means them to be!


7 Responses to “Being a Godly Man: Masculinity”

  1. Yoda September 9, 2008 at 8:53 pm #

    It’s harder than ever these days. We have now a kind of ‘evangelical feminism’ in our churches, that pay’s lip service to the husband & male leadership, yet in reality many wives don’t really even attemp ‘submit to your own husbands’ and ‘let the wife see that she respects her husband’ (Eph 5:22, 33). Oh, but they say, “you must earn respect”, and yet we are to ‘love our wives’ (Eph 5:25) irrespective. Becomming a bit of a one way street, don’t you think?

    No wonder many husbands give up and go under, which in turn undermines their self-esteem and leadership intitiative. Now we have reached the point where women see themselves equal in EVERY respect – in and out of the pulpit! Boy, do we need reformation and revival – REAL revival – in our churches!

  2. jack September 12, 2008 at 2:34 am #

    I have struggled with my “shyness” as a man, to the fact my fiance who is rather abrupt and extroverted has said that its a lie and that people saying im shy is putting a label on me and making me use that as an excuse and has not allowed me to become the man God wants me to be.
    I struggle in leading and being social as its been instilled or part of my upbringing for so long – does this sound correct – ?

  3. mraveragechristian September 18, 2008 at 6:01 pm #

    Hi Jack,

    Don’t confuse social timidness with an unwillingness to grow as a Christian man.

    We were never called to be the ‘life and soul’ of things… some people are like that,
    but thats their character. God has given us all individual personalities, we are all different.

    You shouldn’t focus on whether you’re shy but on what is honouring to God. Some of
    the most respected biblical men I know aren’t ‘in ya face’ but are Christian giants.
    Why? Because God comes first in everything.

    Being a Christian man isn’t about an outward macho lifestyle. It’s about a strong
    understanding of Gods purpose for us as Christian men and a willingness to carry it out.

    Leading doesn’t come easy to any of us. We are naturally lazy – we can think of a million
    reasons why we shouldn’t be doing the Lords work.

    You can be quiet and shy and still be the Godly man, Father God wants you to be.
    He requires us to take responsibility of things in our life, to take charge and ensure
    that it all glorifies Him.

    It may be that God will call you out of your comfort zone – and requires you to do
    things you didn’t think you could handle. I’ve been there and I continually return to it.
    But in this way, when we have fulfilled the responsibility God has given to us, we can
    give him all the glory because it was not us but Him, using us.

  4. Samuel welsh December 3, 2009 at 6:45 am #

    in japan i feel so lost as a christian please advise

  5. Craig April 8, 2010 at 7:02 pm #

    For much of my faith walk I was confused by the word “meek.” I knew that meekness stands as an attribute to strive for, but I didn’t know what that meant. As common ‘street’ usage suggests I felt meek meant timid, wimpy … my impression was that a meek person was a person inclinded to fearfulness to the point of cowardice. I suspect that many people share the same mis-impression of meek I possesed. I now recognize that meek refers to what used to be celebrated as among the greatest attributes of strong character. It now means to me that attribute of standing strong and patient in conflict, displaying humility even though the person posseses great capacity and self confidence. To me, an admirably meek man foregoes judgement of others’ strength or weakness in faith approaching all (brothers and neighbors) with love and kindness allowing them to discover his strength, not forcing it upon them. Meekness is a component if not product of integrity representing reconciliation in a mans heart of his confidence in relation to his capacity, that capacity to love himself as his savior loves him unconditionally, and that capacity to then love his neighbor fully and unconditinally as he loves himself. To me, meekness is a defining virtue of masculinity, a man who will seek to build and protect those around him never using his strength of body or intellect to injure those around him for personal gain. A man who is quick to anger, lays defensive lines in the sand, and fears others’ alternative perspectives is no man at all, but a coward projecting his inward fears upon others. Comments?

  6. chris March 18, 2018 at 12:34 pm #

    Teaching and leading by example , Godly men to become and remain Godly men is greatly needed and appreciated by those who understand it. Thank you for this site/page.


  1. Be a man, not Superman. | De'Keither - March 1, 2009

    […] Being a Godly Man: Masculinity « Mr Average Christian – In relationships, in conflicts, when there is a need to speak out, masculinity is brave.[Gal 2:11,12] Risk is the hall-mark of the brave heart.[Phil 2:29,30] When a man takes no risks out of fear or pride, faith cannot grow. … […]

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